Unfailing Love and Full Redemption

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She’s a month old today, and all I have are memories. Well, that’s not all. I still pray for her everyday, and perhaps I can impact her life through that.

I thought about it all week. How would I feel on this day? Knowing that this is the first of many 5th days of the month that will come and go? Actually, I’m better than I thought I’d be. Yesterday was a little rough, but today I’m better.

God is a wonderful healer. Somehow He takes the darkest of circumstances and brings hope to them. Somehow He brings redemption to the most painful and impossible situations. I really don’t know what I would do without Him in my life.

“Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with Him is full redemption.” Psalm 130:7.

I’ve never known a more tested and proven truth. There’s the hope of the world, and then there’s the hope in the Lord. And there’s a big difference.

When we hope for something, it usually implies we desire something that might work out – or it might not. But when we hope in the LORD, our hope is based on certainty – that He will bring about the absolute greatest outcome to our situation. That doesn’t mean we always get what we want. What it does mean is we get God’s best – His unfailing love and full redemption. And that’s always better than anything we could dream up.

I will miss her for the rest of my life, and I’ll never be the same again. But deep in my heart, I know this will end good. I don’t know how. I just know.

I’ll Never Be the Same

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They named her Eisley, and they loved her fiercely and prayed for her continually before she was ever even conceived. We all did.

When she finally arrived, she was soft and snuggly, with sweet dark eyes and downy brown hair and rosy pink lips. She was sleepy and wiggly and hardly ever fussed.

She had ten long, beautiful fingers and ten perfect toes. We all wondered. Would she be a pianist, a basketball player? Her daddy, our son, said he would teach her the guitar.

She loved to stretch out her little legs, mostly one at a time, and looked mildly comical when she did it. She smiled. A lot. The experts say it’s gas, but her grandparents knew better.

How could one little seven pound baby enter the world and change it so effortlessly? I have no idea, but she did it. It was love at first sight for everyone who met her.

Who knew she would leave our lives almost as suddenly as she entered them, because of a failure in the adoption system?

Although I’ll probably never see her again until Heaven and she’ll probably never even know I exist, I’ll never be the same again. I’ll think of her and pray for her and love her for the rest of my life. And one day down the road, when the pain subsides and I have hindsight on my side, I know I’ll thank the Lord for those precious ten days with Eisley.

“For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.” Lamentations 3:33.

When you decide to surrender your life to the Lord, it’s not as easy as some may think. It’s a life of yielding and trusting and submitting. The Lord will do things in your life that make absolutely no sense. In fact, sometimes His ways seem punishing. That’s where the faith comes in. You trust Him even when it may go against your better judgment.

But when you’ve tasted His love and grace and mercy, there’s no other option. You don’t want to live life without Him. So you just trust Him and try to make it through another day. That’s where I am right now. But I know, without a shadow of a doubt, He loves me and is with me and one day, I’ll thank Him for even this.